Believe it or not, today saw the passing of the thirty-day mark. Yes, it really has been a whole month since I casually rowed out of Gomera. If anyone tries to suggest that it doesn’t feel that long, trust me, it has!

Thankfully, the weather is continuing its uncharacteristic cooperation. Another day of steady progress has passed with little event or drama. That is good in many ways, but not so good in others - you notice every hour of the day, and it becomes a lot more difficult to make these things interesting!

So I’ve decided, and it only seems fair, to make a confession. I’m not really doing this row “properly”. That may seem like a fairly big statement, so perhaps I should expand on it a little more.

The true ocean rower has to endure cramped conditions, towering seas, and disgusting food. I’m having my fair share of the first two, but my meals are actually fairly nice! The traditional expedition food consists of packs of dehydrated food to which you add boiling water. This means you can simply prepare such culinary delights as beef bourguignon, shepherds pie and chicken korma.

On very sensible advice, I brought along some of those meals, primarily to help me through the initial seasickness when I wouldn’t want to any more than the minimum possible to my food. As it happened, my seasickness lasted all of six hours and involved just the one incidence of vomit (that’s too much information, isn’t it?), and for that I am very thankful. Left with otherwise excess food, I decided it would be rude not to use them. It turns out that what you actually have a choice between is tasteless mush of various different colours. Contrary to how it appears, the pictures are of the food before consumption.

The rest of my food is somewhat different. A typical day would be something like this:

Breakfast: luxury fruit & nut muesli with milk or fried potato, onion and bacon brunch

Meal 1: lemon & coriander couscous and portuguese sardines in sunflower oil with whole chilli peppers

Meal 2: basmati rice and seared tuna fillet with italian herb dressing

Meal 3: tagliatelle with oven-roasted vegetable sauce

Extras: twix, snickers, mars bars, bag of fruit pastilles, pepperami, and maybe a mug of hot chocolate

I’m sorry if you feel deceived. If it wasn’t for the rowing and the waves, I’d be having a very pleasant holiday. If only!