Another fairly early blog, but don’t worry, I’m not on the verge of giving up. Although, having said that, I am a little annoyed with myself. My plan last night was a good one. Sadly it was ruined by poor application!

Since yesterday, the weather’s been picking up, making progress more and more difficult. Last night, it wasn’t easy, but it was more than possible. I put out the para-anchor around 11 o’clock for some food and a bit of a tidy-up - the cabin was an absolute tip! Sadly, having done that, I decided a quick sleep was in order. That became a rather long sleep. Had I not done that, I could probably have been another 25 miles nearer to Antigua by now, not to mention a good 10 miles further north.

I have made some progress today. The waves in themselves aren’t causing a problem. They’re long and rolling, so you can row up and down them. But now the wind’s started to pick up. It’s not even very strong, but it’s straight from the north, and turns the sea a bit choppy. This small change makes it very difficult to go the right way, as the hundreds of little waves are trying to force the bow of the boat round to the south. I’ve just had to put out the para-anchor after trying to row, but even putting a lot of effort in I could only just stop being blown south, and was making little more than 1kt west.

The good news is that the wind is forecast to come round fairly quickly; in 24 hours’ time, it should be a good 45 degrees better. How much rowing I can get in before then, though, we’ll have to see. Even on the para-anchor, I lose about 0.5 miles south every hour, so if I’m on it for 24 hours, that gives me a big challenge to get to Antigua.

And, in short, I want to get to Antigua! While I’m not as desperate to get off this boat at all costs as I was a few days ago, I really would like to be in Antigua and have this thing over with as soon as possible. To be able to relax, have a cold drink - as opposed to lukewarm water - and to just not worry for a bit will be fantastic. My “arrival team” will be there in 48 hours. I want to get there then too! Every day I spend out here is one less day I get in Antigua before returning to the realities of life and a looming exam.

Looking back, I’ve only got myself to blame. Even over the last 10 days, I’ve had ample opportunity to get myself further north and west. I could easily be 100 miles closer and at 17°N by now if I’d applied myself properly, if not even closer. Over the course of the whole crossing, even given the ludicrous weather I’ve had, I reckon I should be pretty much finished by now, if not already sipping cocktails.

I’m not thinking like that in a depressed way, just frustrated with myself. Right now would be an ideal time to stumble across that motor I’d forgotten that I’d packed!